27

I was barely 20 when I wrote here for the last time, here in my blog.

I've been writing regularly for this blog of mine since I was 10... in the 5th grade of elementary school... up until the wonderful university years which I still felt grateful for, up to this day, 6 years after it's ended. And just like that... soon as uni ended, I don't think I have anything left to write. 

I don't even write diaries -- or 'journal' as I used to call that-- anymore, though I've always been writing one. Diary SD, diary SMP, Highschool Journal which consisted of 600 pages, and my favorite one, University Journal with its 1000 pages in Microsoft Word. 

And just like that, uni ends, pandemic arrives, quarantine days, even slow living back in my home town, and how work life started.

Just like that.... these days, I don't know what should I write. Everyday feels like the same. Waking up at the same hour, doing the same routine I lowkey forced my self to enjoy, and the after-hour activities I did to keep my self booked and busy... or just distracted.

But this year I've turned 27.

How does 12 yo Rani would think of being 27?

I don't know exactly, but I still remember that when I was in elementary school, I have this image of being in "20s" would look like; short haired, high heels, working (in Jakarta), goes to dinner after work, watch live music gigs, and doing carpool karaoke. 

Which basically what I am doing right now.

Anyway, this was how my December 23rd for the 27th time goes....

2.23 -- blew the candle!

I meant to do it on 00:00, though.

Looked like I fell asleep before that, or I just simply doom-scrolled, but most likely the first one.

I bought a piece of cake from nearby dessert shop last night while I had my last dinner as 26 yo, and even bought a pack of cute candle.

When I was 15, I did similar thing (blew the candle by my self at 00:00), and I felt very miserable, and sad. That I only had my self to celebrate my birthday. I was in the dramatic teenage lore, right...

But right now, it feels just, alright. 

I went back to sleep soon, with 0 new messages on my phone.

Back then, people would be so extra.

We would write long-ahh paragraph and send it on exact 00:00 for our friends' birthdays. I used to do it and receive it too. For some reason, we don't do it anymore right now. At least within my friends circle.

I don't know when did this started, but things just got more and more loose as we grow older. Just like the long birthday paragraph, making a special post for our friend's birthday, and...

Probably because people just busy with their own lives, and that we have indeed went to our separate ways. Maybe it's just us with our low-maintenance friendship. And we're not really dramatic over things, even if deep inside it still feels lonely. 

But that's okay though, cause I got plans to do for the day.

07.30 -- Birthday Run!

Days prior, I have booked my friends for this morning run agenda. 

At my place, there's a time dedicated for doing sports or exercise every Tuesday before work hours started. But that isn't mandatory, so not everyone doing the Tuesday Sports Day. 

So I have to booked my friends to do "Tuesday Morning Run at 7 am".

Though I'm sure they were not aware that today's morning run is what I'm turning to a commemoration for my birthday. Hehe.

However, I got up late (as always), and just left my place few minutes after 7.

And got into the running track at 7.20-ish, with my friends waiting for me and shook their heads, hehe.

But we just started running right after that.

Some prefer to walk around the track.

As there's not really much time left until work hour started, I just wanted to do a 2.7 K easy run for my 27th birthday, while of course taking content for my story.

Did that, took the content, and asked my friend to took photos for me.

The running track was nearly empty and newly renovated, and the weather was nice.

Definitely a good start.

We went back not long after that, took a shower, and started work for the day.

Except I have prepared some snacks for them, for their participation on my birthday run.

It's when I gave them the snack that they were finally aware that it's my birthday and they have just participated on my birthday run HAHAHA.

13.00 -- Blew The Candle! (2)

Turns out my coworkers and seniors had prepared a birthday cake for me.

And it was Kuromi!

Very cute and grateful for this....

15.00 -- Pizza

In order to "repay" the cake, and for the commemoration purposes as well, I also have prepared pizza for the work mates. 

This certain brand of pizza is exactly what I always ordered for my birthday 3 years in a row now. 

I don't know, but it's always felt special. And I only order this on special days.

A friend also came brought a 1-litre bottle of coffee, so it was more like a celebration.

17.30 -- Jazz Cafe

Done with the pizza, work hour was also pushing to and end.

I rushed back to my place only to change clothes, to finally headed to my first destination for the night, a jazz cafe in Cikini I've always wanted to visit.

When I arrived, the jazz session is in the middle of break.

They placed me in a 2-seat table, in a kinda awkward position really close to the jazz artist. Around me were all couples. 

That's actually why this Jazz Cafe wasn't really comfortable for me.

There are also table for single visitor like me, but apparently it was full that time.

My expectation was to enjoy food, and music, while staring blankly at the jazz artist at times. Turns out I couldn't do it all.

Normally though, I always enjoy going out by my self, eat anywhere I want.

This time, probably it was the weird placement.

Although, the food was nice (but not special),

and the jazz was fine.

20.30 -- Tanjoubi no Yoru

Leaving the jazz cafe, I stumbled upon another cafe at the same street. 

This one looks more serene and warm, so I immediately went in.

I ordered warm snack (kembang tahu if I'm not mistaken) and drink, as my tummy has been full actually.

This is where I finally could open my laptop, and.. 

Surfed back in time through my old diary, University Journal.

I went down the memory lane by 1000 pages inside that.

Each days are captured very thoroughly and vividly, any things that happened, any people I met, how I reacted, and how I thought about everything during that period was written extensively. And I'm very grateful of that.

This isn't the first time I re-read this university journal,

but this might be the first time I cried because of this.

I used to judge my old self for 'terlalu baper' over certain thing.

But to re-read this again thoroughly, and periodically, I came to understand my old self better.

I wasn't over-reacted, nggak 'terlalu baper', and in fact, makes every senses.

And I feel very grateful for everything that ever happened during my university days.

I used to think, "kenapa sih?", merasa ga pernah cukup.

Tapi dengan ngebaca itu lagi sekarang, aku bener-bener bersyukur, seseru itu hidupku, dan bener-bener semua hal udah sesuai porsinya.

For a girl who haven't got her frontal lobe fully developed yet that time, anything that happened was perfectly portioned. That's something I have just realized. 

Back then, I used to think my life was lack of many things. Right now, to think about it again, I don't think that way anymore. I was content. My life was content. 

Have I thank God enough for this?

I aaaaalways love the night Gojek ride back to my place from Menteng/Cikini, while listening to my favorite songs.

So I took that ride again this time, listening to old AKB48 song which I haven't really heard for a long time.

Tanjoubi no Yoru,

Birthday Night.

Cause it's my birthday night.

And that was how my 27th birthday went.

Thank God it's on December 23rd,

Cause the last week of the day vibe was just really different and left quite a big impression, always...